Self-worth: How important is it?

Most people confuse self-worth with self-value. They are related concepts, but there is a distinct difference between them.

Having a sense of self-worth means that you value yourself and you have a feeling that you are a good person who deserves being treated with respect while self-value means that you know that you are worthy; and is more behavioural than emotional. It’s about how you act toward what you value including yourself.

Similarly, there isn’t a huge difference between self-worth and self-esteem. Self-esteem is thinking well of yourself and acting with self-respect.

There are many ways for a person to value themselves and access their worth as a human being. Mostly though, society’s focus on high self-esteem involves measuring oneself against others, rather than on our own intrinsic value.

The suggestion that we need to be special and above average to feel good about ourself is nonsensical. Since there will always be someone more attractive, more accomplished, richer and more successful than we are, it means that we will always be left feeling somewhat inadequate.

Basing your self-worth on external factors creates more stress and feelings of inadequacy. Especially in these times of social media, it’s easy to feel less than and inferior, from observing and following all those “out there” with seemingly perfect lives, doing those things we would like to do. It also creates more performance and relationship conflicts.

How to Build Self-worth

Stop comparing yourself to others and evaluating every move you make.

Stop following your ego to be, to have, to do anything based on external approval.

Change your inner dialogue

Cut off or challenge your inner critic when it condemns you.

Learn new strategies to interrupt the destructive patterns of the ego. Say: So What? when it criticizes something about you or your behaviour. Even just saying: And? So? will be enough to shut the ego up.

Practice more self-compassion. Self-compassion is the practice of treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would show to another person in the same situation.

Taking part in activities that you feel are important or doing those things that make you feel good also contribute to feelings of self-worth.

Self-worth also increases when your internal goals and external actions towards those goals are in complete alignment. The ego/ critical inner voice cannot then, be as critical or trip you into actions that diminish your self-respect.

We need to accept that we are worthy, irrespective of what we do or how we do it. Understanding that we have a unique purpose in the world which no one, other than you, can fulfil, should increase your awareness of yourself as meaningful and valuable. Sensing that meaning, contributes to self-worth and self-value.

Developing the self-worth muscle is a priority, since we are hardly ever gracious to someone we don’t like (even if it is ourself). Self-worth is a component of self-love and features high on the list if we are to manifest a life we can love.

Join The EQ GYM this Sunday for a complimentary session. In this session, you will dig deeper into this topic and take you through a guided meditation for you to start building up your gratitude. Sign up for free here! 

No worries if you are reading this article a bit late. Every Sunday we are discussing a new Self-Muscle, so just jump on whatever Sunday is coming up! 

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See you Sunday!

With Love, The EQ GYM Team. 

This is a guest post. Any opinions expressed are the writer’s own.
Photo by nine koepfer on Unsplash.